I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
