Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Randomize