Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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