its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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