Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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