I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
