sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
