I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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