I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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