is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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