i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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