Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
