we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
