Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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