Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
