im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize