I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
