yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Randomize