you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
