My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
so let's talk penis.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
