Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
