reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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