he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
it was like eating out sand paper
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
