no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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