The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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