I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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