Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
