life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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