Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
