Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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