The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
