if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
