she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
