when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize