Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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