soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
