I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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