I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
