I want to make a zoo with you.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
