so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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