Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
