you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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