Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
