Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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