well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You were trust falling into bushes
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
