Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
