we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
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