ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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