I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
you will always have a special place in my vag
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
