Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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