Your mouth is God's brothel.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he puts the penis in happiness.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize