so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
