You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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