We won't sleep together?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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