They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
It's shark week go big or go home
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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