(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
