I heard we made out
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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