I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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