Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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