Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
