is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
