they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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