how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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