That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
