listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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