this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
