and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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