We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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