So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
