feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
