Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
and she was petting her beer can
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
two words...techno handjob
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
