i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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