Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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